Mom, I am not coming home this summer

“Mom, I am not coming home this summer.
And it looks like I won’t be coming in the fall either.
Not for New Year’s.
Not even for your birthday.
Yes, Mom, again.

Yes, Mom, I miss you all.
Yes, Mom, I know Grandma’s sick.

Yes, Mom, my daughter is growing up very fast. 
Yes, Mom, she loves baking, just like you.

Yes, Mom, I’m scared.
Yes, Mom, I’m against the war.

Yes, Mom, I want to come home and hug all of you.

Yes, Mom, I’d eat your dumplings, Dad’s fried potatoes, and pickled tomatoes straight from that big three-litter jar.

Yes, Mom, I’ve thought about how you’re not getting any younger, and I’m so far away.
Yes, Mom, my life is probably going to stay outside of Russia.
Yes, Mom, I won’t be there to care for you if something happens and it is breaking my heart into pieces.

Yes, Mom, I love you so much and I miss you deeply.
A conversation that never happened - and likely never will. Right, Mom?”

Unsent letter to my Mom, May 2025. 

2025 - ongoing